So much has changed for me in the past few years I don’t even have words yet to describe some of it.
I decided I wanted to “start over” and I think this is about as deep into that as I could ever get (at least in this realm).
Things I thought, I no longer think.
Feelings I felt, I no longer feel.
One of the biggest confusions I occasionally feel is feeling like I should still be having those same thoughts or feelings and curiously not wanting to have them and wondering if there was ever any real value in having them in the first place.
There was, of course…
… but so much of that doesn’t have the hold on me that it once did. Much of it feels almost foreign – like something I read in someone else’s biography.
Heck, I don’t even like sharing stories from my past anymore. (And I got some DOOZIES!) But, that’s just not me. Great learning experiences, yes… but the past is the past.
“You’ve changed.”
Yep, we’re supposed to.
I am anew in so many ways.
I’m focused on now.
The gift. The present.
It’s about having new experiences that show my nervous system a new reality.
If I loved you then I still love you now… it’s just that now we are in a very different place and perspective.
And it’s that shift, that willingness to let the past be the past and step fully into what happens now in preparation for what happens next, that has literally changed everything for me.
Maybe it can for you, too.
I pray for your peace.