I was talking with a friend earlier who asked me “how’s the search for the perfect partner going?”
We met in a singles FB group and we’ve been chatting occasionally via Messenger. Mostly about how messed up dating can be. She lives in Louisiana and I find her intriguing. I enjoy our chats.
I told her I was taking a break. She is too. Apparently some idiot ghosted her and she’s an absolute delight. Weirdos.
Anyway, it got me thinking about how “dating rules” are dumb. Complete nonsense. And it’s messing things up for everybody.
Because, somewhere along the way, dating became less about connection and more about following a set of arbitrary, outdated, and completely ridiculous “rules.”
Don’t double text. Wait three days to call. A man shouldn’t date anyone younger than half his age plus seven. Be mysterious. Play hard to get. If he wanted to, he would. The list goes on.
Let’s be real…
Most of these so-called “rules” are just fear wrapped in a formula. They’re designed to make dating a game of strategy instead of what it should be:
Two people seeing if they genuinely connect.
Don’t double text? So, if I’m interested in you, I’m supposed to pretend I’m not? What are we, in middle school? Adults communicate. If I want to send a second message because I thought of something extra I didn’t say in the first message, I’ll send it. It doesn’t make me desperate or needy. If you don’t want to reply, that’s your choice.
A man shouldn’t date anyone younger than half his age plus seven? Who made this up? A math teacher? If two people are legal adults, share values, have mutual attraction, and respect each other, why does a made-up equation get to decide what’s appropriate? Dumb.
“If they wanted to, they would.” This one gets thrown around like it’s gospel. Sure, sometimes people just aren’t interested. But life is complicated. People have fears, insecurities, past traumas, and responsibilities. Just because someone doesn’t act a certain way on your timeline doesn’t mean they don’t care.
Playing hard to get? How about just being real? If I like you, I’ll show it. If you like me, show it back.
Relationships built on mind games don’t last.
Don’t show too much interest too soon. So… what? We’re supposed to act indifferent toward people we like? That’s a great way to end up with two people pretending not to care about each other while secretly hoping the other one makes a move.
And while we’re at it, let’s talk about the whole “don’t date the forbidden fruit” nonsense.
You know, the “you shouldn’t be with them because they’re too young, too old, too different, too whatever” narrative. NEWSFLASH: Other people’s insecurities don’t get to dictate your happiness. If there’s mutual respect, maturity, and a spark that makes your soul light up then GO FOR IT.
Look, at the end of the day, the only “rule” that matters is this:
Do what feels right for you.
Be honest. Be upfront.
Find someone whose energy
matches yours.
And if that means sending a double text, dating outside the “age formula,” dating the “forbidden fruit”, or throwing away every other nonsense dating rule…
DO IT.
So if you’re tired of the games, the waiting, the pretending — not to mention the bizarre math equations – just know this:
Real connection doesn’t follow rules.
It follows honesty, chemistry, and timing.
Screw the rulebook. Burn it if you have to.
Life’s too short to tiptoe around other people’s arbitrary opinions.
I never was good at following other people’s rules anyway.
Date like a grown-up.
Communicate like you care.
Show up like you mean it.
That’s how real love gets a chance to grow.
Everything else?
Just noise.