Everything is made up.
There, I said it.
Every story we tell ourselves. Every explanation we cling to. Every judgment we hold about what happened and why.
All of it is stitched together from incomplete data, filtered through our own biases, insecurities, fears, and past wounds.
So when you feel something deeply (anger, sadness, rejection, betrayal) know this:
Your feelings are real...
They’re yours.
They matter.
But the story behind those feelings?
The why? That part might be built on sand.
Your Feelings Are Valid
Feelings are real. They rise up from the stories we believe.
And sometimes, those stories aren’t actually true.
You can be heartbroken about something that never happened.
You can be furious over something that wasn’t meant that way.
You can grieve a story you wrote in your mind.
And none of that makes your emotion wrong.
The Story Might Not Be
You get a weird text.
You notice a tone shift.
Someone doesn’t show up, doesn’t call, doesn’t reply.
And before you know it, your brain starts building a narrative:
“They’re mad at me.”
“I knew I wasn’t good enough.”
“They’re doing this on purpose.”
“I must’ve done something wrong.”
The emotion hits hard. And it feels justified because the story feels so convincing.
Our minds are meaning-making machines. They fill in the blanks. They assume motives, assign blame, invent villains, and crown victims… often based on fear, past pain, or ego.
Besides, the last time you got a text like that this is what it meant…
But what if the story isn’t true?
That story might feel true.
But it could be fiction.
What if their silence had nothing to do with you?
What if that rejection wasn’t actually rejection?
What if the betrayal never happened, except in your mind?
It doesn’t make the pain less real.
But it does call into question its source.
We almost never have all the facts.
We react based on interpretations, not truths.
And yet… we suffer as if the story is gospel.
Outside Forces Craft Our Narratives
We live in a world that conditions us to connect dots where there are none.
Social media. Childhood trauma. Past relationships. Movies. Religion. TikTok therapists. They all feed us frameworks for understanding our experiences, until we’re not sure which parts we actually believe, and which were quietly implanted while we weren’t paying attention.
We absorb assumptions.
We inherit scripts.
We carry stories that were never really ours to begin with.
And then we react to them.
So What Can You Do?
You don’t have to question your emotions.
You don’t need to invalidate what you’re feeling.
But you can get curious about the story behind it.
Instead of gaslighting yourself, get curious.
Ask:
- What story am I telling myself about this?
- Is that the only possible explanation?
- What if I’m wrong?
You don’t have to push the feeling away.
But you also don’t have to worship the story it came from.
Here’s the thing…
You are allowed to feel. (Obviously)
But maybe next time you catch yourself spiraling, ask:
“What if this entire thing I’m upset about isn’t even true?”
What if you’ve been grieving a ghost?
What if you’ve been mad at a mirage?
What if all of this (all of it) is just another story you made up?
Because everything is.
And, if the story is made up, maybe the suffering doesn’t have to be.
If this resonated, you might also enjoy “Leave the Past in the Past”… especially if you’ve been stuck in a feeling longer than you’d like.